MY DIVORCE

MY DIVORCE

by | Apr 21, 2015 | INSPIRATIONALS

MY DIVORCE

I thought about all the musicians, carefully putting into account each of their stage performances I’ve either seen personally or watched on the TV. I thought about 2face in particular, that guy is just epic when it comes to live performances. Have you seen how he staggers like he’s high on expensive drugs? …or how he pulls the crowd along till the very end? You know that uniqueness in his voice, listening to him and at the same time, seeing him in person or that feeling you get when he jumps down the stage to poke the person right in front of you. Actually enough of 2face’s dreams, he wasn’t the only one I thought about calling for my divorce.

I thought about the Mavin crew. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that Don Jazzy’s voice has some traces of codeine in it. Well, I sincerely don’t know the effect of that codeine, but his voice from the background or it’s combination with the Almighty Dbanj’s. Okay, I rest my case.

I thought about every other musician…the effect of the twins on stage. The effect of the wiz bro (yes, I called him a “bro” because… Well, he should actually be a bro). The effect of VEC, phyno, Chidinma, Omawunmi… But I just couldn’t get enough from my thoughts.

Then came the menu of the day. I thought about pounded yam, if you have ever eaten “pounded” yam, then you’ll understand me better. I thought about Amala (even though I’ve never tasted it); the thought of its flexibility overwhelmed me. I thought about jollof rice (those ones are just spectacular when made for parties). I thought about it’s fried equivalent, it’s coconut and it’s Chinese. I think I’ll just skip the white. I thought about the eforiro soup (it’s just most of them don’t taste as nice as they look these days), the edikang-ikong, the ogbono, the ofe nsala. I thought about everything; then about the cakes. I thought about chocolate cakes (of how very quickly they melt into the mouth and then you crave for more) I decided my cakes would be ordered from “cakesbykisses”, who wouldn’t want a cake image brought to life. I thought about every edible; small chops, fruits, coleslaw, drinks…etc. I thought about my divorce.

The scream for a divorce

The scream for a divorce

I didn’t remember my union; I couldn’t even explain it if I was asked to. I didn’t remember how I got involved in the first place, before the thought of a grand divorce came flying across. I didn’t remember the journey, and I sincerely didn’t want to. All I thought about was my grand divorce; the one that will once again free me from the unbearable union.

Yes, I envisaged a grand divorce; where even though the musicians refuse to turn up, my music library would give me the much needed joy. Talking about my music library, I thought about all the songs I had therein and figured it wouldn’t do the magic I really needed. I started to think again, to think about the divorce.

My divorce… So many to wine and dine on. There will be no invitation cards (I hate segregation); everyone will be invited. I have to give gossips the privilege to carry first hand news. The ones that have never wished you well. The ones that always prayed you never went into a divorce (trust me, they don’t wish you well). The ones that always hoped you never realised you were even in a union. I thought about giving them lots to talk about. I thought about the side attractions… I thought about lots of souvenirs…I thought about the happy faces… the sad ones. I thought about all that I hoped for… All that I prayed to get. I thought about a grand divorce, the kind that will keep lips sealed for long.

This was about my divorce with the most humiliating factor in my life. The one that made me feel useless for long. The one that never made me stop feeling inferior. The one that instilled fear in me… The fear of being me… The fear of moving on… The fear of holding on to the good things of life. I thought about my divorce with unhappiness; it cannot win all the time. I cannot be destined to be sad. The unhappy feeling I get just when I’m about to make it in life which shatters every main dream. I thought about my divorce with unhappiness yet again, and then I smiled because for the first time in a long while, I will be free again. Free from all forms of sadness in my life; from all forms of fear. From the shackles of failure, the standstill of destiny, the abandonment of acquaintances. Unhappiness will not win this time because I intend to move on, to be happy again… happy to enjoy life the way I used to; happy to move on without the fear of hate. I intend to be happy… Just this time, it will last forever.

Have you had a divorce with unhappiness yet? Now is the time, you should wait no longer. I wish you everlasting joy in your life, now and always!

…And for my thoughts. Well, they ended up becoming just thoughts. Though now, I am as happy as I can be.

**First published in Inspirationals segment on bilkissesblog.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Osomo Bilikis Omosalewa, also known as Bilkisses is a talented Nigerian writer, blogger and caterer. She is a well-focused, emotionally-
stable, and a hard working young lady whose penchant for excellence and youthful drive makes an asset wherever she finds herself. She started blogging in 2012 under the domain name “Bilkisses blog” and has not stopped thrilling her fans with her mostly fictional stories.

As a storage biology graduate of the prestigious Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria; Bilkisses currently owns “cakesbykisses”, a bakery which constitutes a team of experienced caterers who bake cakes to life.

DIARY OF AN ABIA KOPA

DIARY OF AN ABIA KOPA

by | Apr 16, 2015 | INSPIRATIONALS, SHORT STORIES

DIARY OF AN ABIA ‘KOPA’

Kpaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

She lost her balance… It was  a masculine slap, of course she had to. The guy who was stern looking, short and chisel-muscled appeared so desperate with his eyes shining like a cat’s. He left her searching for her balance. Toke was furious, she hadn’t expected to be a hit by a guy…to talk of a stranger. She didn’t remember the last time she was slapped. He was beginning to sound like she had heard in the movies… “Do you know who I am?” “Who do you think you are?”… then she heard a distant cry for help.

“Look out, a guy just slapped a corps member”. She saw the mammoth crowd running towards them, and she rescinded her decision to hit him back. They pounced on him, anger emanating like heat from each of them. He was dragged by the hair as shouts of “How can you slap a corper?” “Who you be?” “Who born you?” “Who be your papa?” rented the air.

Toke was amongst the INEC ADHOC staff that were recruited to participate in the elections. She was among the few corps members selected because she had registered early enough for it. Though advised against registering, Toke insisted she wanted to participate because of her zeal to make her country a better place. She also insisted it wasn’t an everyday affair and figured being a corps member was her best bet. She mocked her friends, Chidi and Tega for not meeting up to the requirements and not getting selected.

Chidi and Tega were Toke’s closest friends. From the onset, Chidi had vowed he wasn’t participating as he learnt the previous election was violent. He advised Toke and Tega against participating, but they wouldn’t hear of it. They instead, influenced him into changing his mind and so he decided to join in the registration process. With the list out and only Toke’s name in sight, Chidi was a bit relieved, he sincerely wasn’t interested after all.
Tega had been indecisive right from the start. When Toke told him about it, he seemed really interested but when Chidi shared his point of view, he had lost interest. His indecisive nature made him finally accept to register when Toke brought it up over and over again…and also made them talk Chidi into registering too. However, he also wasn’t shortlisted.

* * * * * *

The corps members were outraged. They acted defensively, trying to fight for one of their own. It was an insult to their “uniform”, their personality, their body- the NYSC; having one of their own hit by an indigene…a coward in this case, a man who could hit a woman. They were not interested in the cause, the deed was done. Everyone of them; ladies inclusive, dealt with him and then gave him the warning of his life.

Apparently, the indigene was angry with Toke because as the presiding officer of her unit, she had prevented every form of irrelevant discussion that could mar the aim of the election. Toke, as a result of her upbringing was a very disciplined lady who would work only by following protocol. She thus double crossed the indigene in his covetous bid to help with election malpractice. Hence,  his attack on her personality the next time they met.

National Youth Service Corps

National Youth Service Corps

This is an avenue to pay homage to every corps member presently serving their fatherland. It is worthy of all causes to be patriotic in trying times, even when the team seems negligent. This is also an avenue to acknowledge every real MAN out there that would NEVER hit a lady, no matter the circumstance. It takes a real man to listen to a woman ranting and at most walk out on her. It is a privilege to have actually served in the year 2014/15- when the most intense and competitive election took place. It is a privilege to have contributed to the success of our development- the Nigerian development. It is a privilege to be a female – that every real man will fight for, and a Nigerian that would be proud of her country. It is a privilege to be able to tell my story to the world, without having to beg a particular TV or radio station before given an opportunity. It is an opportunity to be in this new age with every one of you. May the new government serve us as promised, and may Nigeria continue to become a better place to live in.

God bless all corps members,
God bless the NYSC,
God bless the INEC and
God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

CORPERS WEE OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Osomo Bilikis Omosalewa, also known as Bilkisses is a talented Nigerian writer, blogger and caterer. She is a well-focused, emotionally-
stable, and a hard working young lady whose penchant for excellence and youthful drive makes an asset wherever she finds herself. She started blogging in 2012 under the domain name “Bilkisses blog” and has not stopped thrilling her fans with her mostly fictional stories.

As a storage biology graduate of the prestigious Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria; Bilkisses currently owns “cakesbykisses”, a bakery which constitutes a team of experienced caterers who bake cakes to life.

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