I thought about all the musicians, carefully putting into account each of their stage performances I’ve either seen personally or watched on the TV. I thought about 2face in particular, that guy is just epic when it comes to live performances. Have you seen how he staggers like he’s high on expensive drugs? …or how he pulls the crowd along till the very end? You know that uniqueness in his voice, listening to him and at the same time, seeing him in person or that feeling you get when he jumps down the stage to poke the person right in front of you. Actually enough of 2face’s dreams, he wasn’t the only one I thought about calling for my divorce.

I thought about the Mavin crew. I’m sure you’ll agree with me that Don Jazzy’s voice has some traces of codeine in it. Well, I sincerely don’t know the effect of that codeine, but his voice from the background or it’s combination with the Almighty Dbanj’s. Okay, I rest my case.

I thought about every other musician…the effect of the twins on stage. The effect of the wiz bro (yes, I called him a “bro” because… Well, he should actually be a bro). The effect of VEC, phyno, Chidinma, Omawunmi… But I just couldn’t get enough from my thoughts.

Then came the menu of the day. I thought about pounded yam, if you have ever eaten “pounded” yam, then you’ll understand me better. I thought about Amala (even though I’ve never tasted it); the thought of its flexibility overwhelmed me. I thought about jollof rice (those ones are just spectacular when made for parties). I thought about it’s fried equivalent, it’s coconut and it’s Chinese. I think I’ll just skip the white. I thought about the eforiro soup (it’s just most of them don’t taste as nice as they look these days), the edikang-ikong, the ogbono, the ofe nsala. I thought about everything; then about the cakes. I thought about chocolate cakes (of how very quickly they melt into the mouth and then you crave for more) I decided my cakes would be ordered from “cakesbykisses”, who wouldn’t want a cake image brought to life. I thought about every edible; small chops, fruits, coleslaw, drinks…etc. I thought about my divorce.

The scream for a divorce

The scream for a divorce

I didn’t remember my union; I couldn’t even explain it if I was asked to. I didn’t remember how I got involved in the first place, before the thought of a grand divorce came flying across. I didn’t remember the journey, and I sincerely didn’t want to. All I thought about was my grand divorce; the one that will once again free me from the unbearable union.

Yes, I envisaged a grand divorce; where even though the musicians refuse to turn up, my music library would give me the much needed joy. Talking about my music library, I thought about all the songs I had therein and figured it wouldn’t do the magic I really needed. I started to think again, to think about the divorce.

My divorce… So many to wine and dine on. There will be no invitation cards (I hate segregation); everyone will be invited. I have to give gossips the privilege to carry first hand news. The ones that have never wished you well. The ones that always prayed you never went into a divorce (trust me, they don’t wish you well). The ones that always hoped you never realised you were even in a union. I thought about giving them lots to talk about. I thought about the side attractions… I thought about lots of souvenirs…I thought about the happy faces… the sad ones. I thought about all that I hoped for… All that I prayed to get. I thought about a grand divorce, the kind that will keep lips sealed for long.

This was about my divorce with the most humiliating factor in my life. The one that made me feel useless for long. The one that never made me stop feeling inferior. The one that instilled fear in me… The fear of being me… The fear of moving on… The fear of holding on to the good things of life. I thought about my divorce with unhappiness; it cannot win all the time. I cannot be destined to be sad. The unhappy feeling I get just when I’m about to make it in life which shatters every main dream. I thought about my divorce with unhappiness yet again, and then I smiled because for the first time in a long while, I will be free again. Free from all forms of sadness in my life; from all forms of fear. From the shackles of failure, the standstill of destiny, the abandonment of acquaintances. Unhappiness will not win this time because I intend to move on, to be happy again… happy to enjoy life the way I used to; happy to move on without the fear of hate. I intend to be happy… Just this time, it will last forever.

Have you had a divorce with unhappiness yet? Now is the time, you should wait no longer. I wish you everlasting joy in your life, now and always!

…And for my thoughts. Well, they ended up becoming just thoughts. Though now, I am as happy as I can be.

**First published in Inspirationals segment on bilkissesblog.


Osomo Bilikis Omosalewa, also known as Bilkisses is a talented Nigerian writer, blogger and caterer. She is a well-focused, emotionally-
stable, and a hard working young lady whose penchant for excellence and youthful drive makes an asset wherever she finds herself. She started blogging in 2012 under the domain name “Bilkisses blog” and has not stopped thrilling her fans with her mostly fictional stories.

As a storage biology graduate of the prestigious Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria; Bilkisses currently owns “cakesbykisses”, a bakery which constitutes a team of experienced caterers who bake cakes to life.

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